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        A Hedge of Rubber Trees

        字號(hào):


             The West Village by then was changing; before long
             the rundown brownstones at its farthest edge
             would have slipped into trendier hands. She lived,
             impervious to trends, behind a potted hedge of
             rubber trees, with three cats, a canary——refuse
             from whose cage kept sifting down and then
             germinating, a yearning seedling choir, around
             the saucers on the windowsill——and an inexorable
             cohort of roaches she was too nearsighted to deal
             with, though she knew they were there, and would
             speak of them, ruefully, as of an affliction that
             might once, long ago, have been prevented.
             Unclassifiable castoffs, misfits, marginal cases:
             when you're one yourself, or close to it, there's
             a reassurance in proving you haven't quite gone
             under by taking up with somebody odder than you are.
             Or trying to. "They're my friends," she'd say of
             her cats——Mollie, Mitzi and Caroline, their names were,
             and she was forever taking one or another in a cab
             to the vet——as though she had no others. The roommate
             who'd become a nun, the one who was Jewish, the couple
             she'd met on a foliage tour, one fall, were all people
             she no longer saw. She worked for a law firm, said all
             the judges were alcoholic, had never voted.
             But would sometimes have me to dinner——breaded veal,
             white wine, strawberry Bavarian——and sometimes, from
             what she didn't know she was saying, I'd snatch a shred
             or two of her threadbare history. Baltic cold. Being
             sent home in a troika when her feet went numb. In
             summer, carriage rides. A swarm of gypsy children
             driven off with whips. An octogenarian father, bishop
             of a dying schismatic sect. A very young mother
             who didn't want her. A half-brother she met just once.
             Cousins in Wisconsin, one of whom phoned her from a candy
             store, out of the blue, while she was living in Chicago.
             What had brought her there, or when, remained unclear.
             As did much else. We'd met in church. I noticed first
             a big, soaring soprano with a wobble in it, then
             the thickly wreathed and braided crimp in the mouse-
             gold coiffure. Old? Young? She was of no age.
             Through rimless lenses she looked out of a child's,
             or a doll's, globular blue. Wore Keds the year round,
             tended otherwise to overdress. Owned a mandolin. Once
             I got her to take it down from the mantel and plink out,
             through a warm fuddle of sauterne, a lot of giddy Italian
             airs from a songbook whose pages had started to crumble.
             The canary fluffed and quivered, and the cats, amazed,
             came out from under the couch and stared.
             What could the offspring of the schismatic age and a
             reluctant child bride expect from life? Not much.
             Less and less. A dream she'd had kept coming back,
             years after. She'd taken a job in Washington with
             some right-wing lobby, and lived in one of those
             bow-windowed mansions that turn into roominghouses,
             and her room there had a full-length mirror: oval,
             with a molding, is the way I picture it. In her dream
             something woke her, she got up to look, and there
             in the glass she'd had was covered over——she gave it
             a wondering emphasis——with gray veils.
             The West Village was changing. I was changing. The last
             time I asked her to dinner, she didn't show. Hours——
             or was it days?——later, she phoned to explain: she hadn't
             been able to find my block; a patrolman had steered her home.
             I spent my evenings canvassing for Gene McCarthy. Passing,
             I'd see her shades drawn, no light behind the rubber trees.
             She wasn't out, she didn't own a TV. She was in there,
             getting gently blotto. What came next, I wasn't brave
             enough to know. Only one day, passing, I saw
             new shades, quick-chic matchstick bamboo, going up where
             the waterstained old ones had been, and where the seedlings——
             O gray veils, gray veils——had risen and gone down.