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        by Ed Ochester

        字號(hào):

        by Ed Ochester
             He was in a hotel in Baltimore
             in a suburb near Johns Hopkins. He would
             give a talk there, and they would pay him for it.
             It was night, and he was alone; sirens were racing
             up and down the streets. The room was very large.
             Most of what he had wished as a boy was to write poems,
             to have some power with the word, to be paid
             for talking. Don't smile, please. He wanted
             to be put in a beautiful room like this.
             Bonnie would pick him up in an hour. He saw
             out the picture window a few men in trenchcoats
             walking toward the parking lot, and beyond that
             headlights and taillights on a freeway a mile
             or so away. He'd been reading Carver's last book
             of poems, reading "Gravy" and the other valedictories.
             He remembered Carver a few years before his death,
             kidding about his prosperity, kneeling before his Mercedes
             and waving a fistful of dollars, because he was so amazed,
             he supposed, to have them, that good man, whose last poems,
             written in the knowledge of imminent death, said
             love the world, don't grieve overmuch, listen to people.
             The beautiful room was a good place to read; he'd finished
             the book (for the second time) at the pine desk, where
             the indirect white light hurt his eyes. He didn't think
             he'd ever be as famous as Carver, but who could tell?
             He was sorry the man was dead; there was nothing
             he could do about that, but he was sorry for it.
             He got up to look out the picture window. He could
             see the red spintops of some cops' cars. Other than that
             nothing special: in the entrance courtyard a lone cabbie
             smoked a cigarette; spotlights shone up through the yellow
             foliage of a clump of maples. A few slow crickets.
             He had everything he really wanted, he had learned
             that friends, like love, couldn't save him.