The importance of volunteer work
    崔靜遠(yuǎn)
    遼寧省鞍山市鞍山市第一中學(xué)高三18班
    In my opinion, volunteer work is quite an important part of the modern society. The reasons are as follows.
    In the modern time, thanks to the deselopment of economy and technolodge, material enjoyment 13 earned both in higher quality and larger quantiy. At a price of this, individunls are taking the risk of losing their own values and even sparing no effert to make their fartane even at the price of the interest of the society. So the volunteer work has been playing an important part as a spiritual comfort not only to the receivers but also to the volunteers, promoting the well-being of the love-givers, making ertra value for others and keeping a perfect balance of the whole society.
    In families, volunteer work will help to emphasize the importance of morality, meet emotional needs and even become a vivid educational lesson. Parents, who are widely regarded as the first and most important teachers of their children, are teaching their children through the activities which must truely toach the deepest part of the young souls, instead of serious, traditional crivical words. Also, during the process, in which every member showstus true love, other members are able to recognize him from a difference point of view. This kind of awarness is promised to promote the communication of the family in the future. In the whole world, the volunteer work can be considered to be an appropriate part of the globalization, during which the world is becoming a Global village. And the natural and economic chisasters are driving people from different cultaral back grounds to stand together on the same side, emphasizing the interest of the whole world, which must not be deffended without any country's participation. And it is the volunteer work that can be granted the role of offering help in its hour of marimum need.
    All in all, volunteer work is truely an inreplacable part of the society and it is our responsibility to give our hands to make the world a better place.
    專家建議：
    建議該生平時(shí)利用好學(xué)校里使用的中學(xué)英語教科書，因?yàn)榻炭茣臋?quán)威性不容置疑，選材也適合中學(xué)生，是精讀甚至背誦的好選擇。之所以推薦給作者教科書，是因?yàn)樵摽忌趯懽鏖L(zhǎng)句子時(shí)出現(xiàn)較多錯(cuò)誤，說明該生的語法基礎(chǔ)不夠夯實(shí)，那么中學(xué)英語課本就恰好能彌補(bǔ)這個(gè)弱點(diǎn)。
    專家點(diǎn)評(píng)：
    文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰明了，簡(jiǎn)潔明了的開頭和結(jié)尾緊扣主題，精干又有力，很方便讀者對(duì)文章主旨的把握。中間部分的邏輯性強(qiáng)，思路也很清晰。不足的是在一些長(zhǎng)難句的表達(dá)上出現(xiàn)了一些錯(cuò)誤，有些句子讓人很難理解。在以后的寫作中可以多關(guān)注長(zhǎng)句子的練習(xí)。