The Advantages and Disadvantages of Computers
    陳綠思
    廣東省汕頭市金山中學(xué)高一9班
    As wereliving in an unusual world with rapidly developing light-technology, there's no doubt that computer, as an indispensable instrument, has been a significant part of one's life.
    In respect to the office and business, computers can never be over emphasized. It makes it much easier and more convenient to send messages accurately and make a deal. Computers also grace our daily life, from which we're capable to get the latest information, talk about the social controversial issues and even see doctors and book tickets on line. You may get everything you want, only clicking the mouse.
    Take, for example, the story of an unknown girl who complaint a lot about the big earthquake that happened to Sichuan. All the people in sorrow who read the girls comments were very angry and it was the computer that helped the people collect all the imformation of the girl and assisted the police in catching her eventually. How ponerful the computers are!
    There's a saying goes “Every coin has two side”. So is computer. Personal imformation is exposed to the public attention nowadays, and even one's privacy. It has been reported that some famous stars' daily life were seriously influenced as their phone numbers, house address were spread on line. We can't imagine how terrible it will be if the private imformation is made use of by those with bad intention. Besides, computers with narious functions may exert bad influence on adolescents. They, for instance, me likely to get addicted to playing electronic games that overshadow the other parts of their life, to ondulge themselves in unhealthy imformation that even lead them to criminals.
    In my humble opinion, whether computer is harmful or useful to us lies in the approach we use it. Only when we use computers in appropriate ways to do right things can we benefit from this kind of high - technology.
    專家建議：
    建議該生平時多閱讀英語議論文章，觀察并模仿規(guī)范議論文的文章結(jié)構(gòu)設(shè)計，盡量使自己以后的文章做到結(jié)構(gòu)清晰明了。
    專家點評：
    本文詞匯運用較為準確，高級；句型句式較為豐富；議論語言較有力度。但是，文章段落結(jié)構(gòu)出現(xiàn)了較大的問題：引言段，文章主體以及為支持“計算機優(yōu)勢觀點”所舉的例子都以平行結(jié)構(gòu)出現(xiàn)在了不同段落中，而文章關(guān)于“計算機劣勢觀點”所舉的例子卻和其相應(yīng)的觀點擠在一個段落中。所以容易給人雜亂無章的感覺。